"Sometimes there comes along a truly gifted and unique individual with way too much time on their hands. Recently an Internet Service Provider conducted an audit of the Tech Support logs. Some personal entries were found. Here is one:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately.
The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.
I have hypothesised that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest.
Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength.
In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.
Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars Inc.
Mackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

Along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

"There can be only one"."

ok, the worst thing about this that i've done it before. haha, not as intense as this- but still. i'm so messed up in the head. has anyone else ever done it? please let me know if you have so i don't think i'm completely insane~! lol. i do random things like that. and i have some compulsive number thing too. it's crazy.. it's like, i count weird things if i get bored. for example, the number of lines in letters... it's hard to explain but... b=2, c=1, w=4, t=2, z=3, etc. does that make ANY sense?? or numbers too.. 1=1, 3=2, 4=3, 5=3, and so on. hahaha, told you i'm screwed up. and TIME too... like 1:11, 12:34, or 5:55. or you can add them together 8:19... 8+1=9. lol, interesting. you should try it. see what it's like to be as insane as i am... =P

this has been the weirdest day ever. i was really pissed off. it was not good. i still am but i'm hiding it. it makes everything a lot easier. i ate way too much chocolate tonight, i'll prolly get sick later. oh well, i don't care. it doesn't matter. why am i listening to "suzy is a headbanger?" ???? hahaa...wow.

i decided i'm living a pseudo-life right now.
nothing feels real and nothing seems worthwhile.
i need someone to show me it is.
i want something to work for- a goal.
but right now i don't have anything...
and i'm not talking about school/grades or whatever..i'm always doing that anyway.
that stuff isn't really a goal, just kind of expected, ya know?
i've wasted so much time.
i think that's why i've been so depressed.
i'm mad at myself.
i'm stuck in a rut.
and it's realllllly hard to get out of it.
someone save me...