i'm so confused again.
i really am insane.
ask anyone.
my tummy hurts :(
but no one cares about that.
anyway.
"you're into my head, i'm out of my mind..."
i've been thinking a lot lately.
(except for the last... 3 hours..)
but before that.
i was thinking about thinking.
and about what it means to listen to someone.
to TRULY listen to them.
undivided attention-style.
and how often do you get that from someone?
not very often. it's a pretty rare occurrence.
i just found this on someone's away message.
i find it sadly beautiful right now...

Life is,
only,
as good as the memories we make,
and I'm taking back what belong to me.
Polaroids of classrooms unattended.
These relics of remembrance,
are just like shipwrecks.
Only there gone faster then the smell after it rains.

So long astoria.
I found a map to buried treasure,
and even if we come home empty-handed.
We still have our stories, our battlescars, pirate ships and wounded hearts, broken bones,
and all the best of friendships.
And when this hourglass,
has filtered out,
it's final grain of sand.
I raise my glass to the memories we are.
This is my wish,
and I'm taking it back.
I'm taking them all back.
-The Ataris

*sigh*

i hate the ribfest/carnivals in general.
i find them repulsive.
well, maybe repulsive is too strong of a word, but something along those lines.
i just don't like the crowds and the rush and the constant movement.
i avoid them at all costs
but i usually end up going anyway.
ah well.
and who's going to go watch the fireworks with me?
wow, i'm really depressed now.
i must be manic depressive.
i was just crazy at andrew's house
and now i'm dead.
blah.
i just colored the Z key on my keyboard with a purple marker.
i LIKE it.
hmmm maybe i should make the whole thing colorful.
that would be awesomely awesome, baby.
;)
AHH!!! oh man, i almost lost this whole thing.
::heart attack::
but i saved it.
phew, that was close.

have you ever wanted something so badly and you can never have it?
i hate that.
with a passion...


Had a bad day again.

She said I would not understand.

She left a note and said "I'm sorry I had a bad day again".

She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace,

Smeared the lipstick on her face,

Slammed the door, and said "I'm sorry I had a bad day again".

And she swears there's nothing wrong.

I hear her playing that same old song.

She puts me up and puts me on.


i should really go to bed and stop thinking.
or at least...consciously thinking.

yeah.
there's nothing here for me anyway.