i've been going through this internal emotional rollercoaster all day.

i either want to scream or weep or laugh until i can't do it any longer. i feel regret, remorse, hope, desire, loneliness, calm, and exhaustion in combinations. and no, it's not hormones.. it's just that i'm so conflicted. i don't know what i had, what i have, or what i want.

i'm one scattered mess and i've forgotten how to clean up. i keep sweeping and sweeping but the windows keep shattering at my feet.

there is no 10-second tidy.