i'm in a poetic mood, but i'm afraid to sound awfully cliche.

i need to stop being such a chicken.

i over-analyze everything.. just like i am now.

i'm taking better care of myself now. why? because "i'm worth it." ;)

41 more days. GAHHHHH!!! so close, yet so far away...

i need to prioritize.

today i realized one possible cause of my depression. it's that i've lost almost all of my idealism. i could think of things that no one else thinks of and try making them happen. of course, i knew that everything wouldn't work out perfectly, but i was still able to dream.

and now. now. i can't. i don't think that way. it's really hard... i feel so snuffed out. i'm trying to regain some of it.. but it's a futile attempt.

and i get really lonely for awhile, but then i remember that there are people who care about me.

maybe my standards are too high - for others and myself.

does anyone expect me to be perfect?