ok, so i did make another blog, BUT i changed my mind.
i didn't get rid of it though.. i'll save it for when i'm really upset.

today is my last day here, folks.
i'm going to michigan with my family until tuesday nightish.
not that i'll be missed...
but i'll have fun.
my aunt and uncle rented out this cute little lodge/cabins for my entire side of my mom's family.
ahhhh... ::freaks out::
and my mom definitely has 6 brothers and sisters.
and i am definitely the oldest cousin... followed by my own 3 little sisters...
::FREAKS OUT::
but they're all cute kids and it's right on the beach so it's all ok.
i've decided i'm going to try and not lose my paleness... i'm starting to like it.
i mean- why should i try and be something i'm physically NOT? it's different. and i like it.
so =P.
well, my parents went up to birch creek to pick up my sister from jazz camp so i spent the day alone with jenny and laura. ahh.. so much work.. so much cooking.. so much cleaning..ahhh...
i even walked them to church, yeehaw.
and, because of the lack of my parents, i was forced to answer the phone today.
matt called me. he's a good kid.
MORE PEOPLE SHOULD CALL ME!
how else will i get over my fear of phones?!?
and i've decided that i'm going to do something fun everyday for the rest of summer.
let me know if you want in.
i'm going to go to chicago with lola and jess later this week after i get home.
hehe, we're all excited.
chicago is nice once and awhile but the hustle and bustle of it gets to me after awhile.
maybe we'll steal my cool aunt for the day and she can take us places.

mmm...the sky is so beautiful right now. it's probably going to rain like no other tonight, but it is still incredible. maybe i'll go rain dancing tonight.

AHHH, now toooo many people are calling. i can't even sit down for 2 seconds!! ::freaks out AGAIN::

deep breath.....

ok. i'm ok now.

:)

i cried today. it was good. i needed to just... let it all out.

what triggered it was this website..

http://hometown.aol.com/kaoscutie5/page1index.html

now i have no idea who these people are, but something in it really got to me.
i think i wondered if people would care so much about me if i died so young.
and pictures on it reminded me of things i have done and how everything can just be over so quickly.
*sigh*
so yeah...
sadly, that was one of the highlights of my day.
along with my lunch/dinner coming out very well.

it's weird though. i've stayed home all alone for a day or so this summer and i just did things the way i normally do... sleep in, no breakfast, lunch at like 2:00.. little dinner... stay up really late...
but TODAY.. aiy yi yi! i had to get up early and make breakfast for the twins. then lunch, then make cookies with them, then wash dishes, then make dinner, then walk to church, then wash MORE dishes, then pack, then clean the living room, then not go out tonight even though i was going to but i still have too much to do before we leave in the morning. so yes, this was an...eventful day. at least it's almost over. i'm saying what i'm typing out loud right now. it's kind of strange but it works.

::SINGS::