i no longer need so much help and reassurance.
i can handle myself.
i now see that i have bigger things to worry about.
i've had my time. and now it's time to move on.
it's time for me to be a "great friend" again.
my problems really don't amount to very much. and i have realized that.
now it's time for me to help other people through.
they were there for me, and now i'll be there for them.
i miss being so nice. i miss it a lot.
it's just... been really hard to be nice lately, especially when you're not even happy with yourself.
i'm returning to the way i used to be, but this time i have a more knowing perspective and am choosing to be this way.
you know that book by shel silverstein? it's called "the giving tree." it makes me cry every time i read it.
i want to read it now.
"for nicky." wouldn't it be great to have a book dedicated to you? i can't even imagine how that would feel.

Once there was a tree...
and she loved a little boy.
And every day the boy would come
and he would gather her leaves
and make them into crowns and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk
and swing from her branches
and eat apples.
And they would play hide-and-go-seek.
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree...
very much.
And the tree was happy.
But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.
Then one day the boy came to the tree
and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade
and be happy.
"I am too big to climb and play," said the boy.
"I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?"
"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and you will be happy."
And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away from a long time...
and the tree was sad.
And then one day
the boy came back
and the treee shook with joy
and she said, "Come, Boy,
climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches
and be happy."
"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm," he said.
"I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?"
"I have no house," said the tree.
"The forest is my house, but you may cut off my branches and build a house.
Then you will be happy."
And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house.

And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away for a long time.
And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak.
"Come, Boy," she whispered, "come and play."
"I am too old and sad to play," said the boy.
"I want a boat that will take me far away from here.
Can you give me a boat?"
"Cut down my trunk and make a boat," said the tree.
"Then you can sail away... and be happy."
And so the boy cut down her trunk
and made a boat and sailed away.
And the tree was happy...
but not really.
And after a long time the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy," said the treee, "but I have nothing left to give you-
My apples are gone.
"My teeth are too weak for apples," said the boy.
"My branches are gone," said the tree. "You cannot swing on them-"
"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb-"
"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that I could give you something...
but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry..."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy, "just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired.
"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, "well and old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.

And the tree was happy.

The End.


And now for a song I found today...

Wanna cry for you
Would it do any good?
If I rained for you
It would just be water

And the night's with you
And the storm's in your hand
And you're down, and you're down
And I can't lift you

I'm powerless to change your world
I'm powerless to stop the hurt

But I'll give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
Over and over

Wanna run for you
Would it do any good?
If I flew for you
You would still be standing

And it's hard watching
'Cause I'm part of you
And it's hard not to
Not to know what I can do

I'm powerless to change your world
I'm powerless to stop the hurt

I'm trying hard to be your tower of strength
I'm trying hard to bring you back to joy

I'll give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder

When the night just cuts you through
And the dream is lost to you
When you're worried and confused

I will give you my heart give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
Over and over

Time and again
Give you my shoulder
I will
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I will
Time and again
Over and over
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder