i'm so upset.
who do i think i am?
i feel so empty inside.
i want to get away, but i have nowhere to go.
too many negative feelings.
oh no.
i'm such a horrible person. everything i try and do gets messed up.
i'm so selfish. i get unnerved by the stupidest things.
i let things get way out of hand when i could have stopped it a long time ago.
and i am so fat. i hate taking up so much space.

i just want to dissappear.

completely.

and no. i don't want your pity.
i'm sick of all this.
i'm sick of my life.
i don't want to be a part of this.
why don't i just get over it like everyone else?
why can't i just ACCEPT things the way they are?
why is it so difficult to want something different?
i don't understand.
no one understands.
i'm just wasting everybody's time.
i don't deserve all of these good people in my life.
all i do is cause harm.
i'm tired. i am really really tired.
everything is my fault.
get me out of here.
what is real?
is anything real? is this all a dream?
why do i try so hard?
why can't i think the world revolves solely around me and be happy?
hm?? HMM??
i'm so stupid.
i don't even know what i want.
why am i even writing this?
do i think it will change something? make it different?
no. it won't.

blah.