Friday, January 31, 2003

***haha, yes! not that you wanted to know these, but :-P*** hehe

Mong 3
Mongoose, Mongoose, Mongoose 100% MONGOOSE! wow
congratulations, the queen of the mongooses
welcomes you! Life treats you very well...B
very happy!


Are you a man or a MONGOOSE?
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Great kisser - you always kiss like you mean it and
no matter who you are with the other person is
alwyas gunna be happy when they are done.


What type of kisser are you?I changed it turst me its better!!
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<a href=><br>WOW how old are you??? you are past kissing ur<br>MAKING OUT!
<br /><br><br><a href= What Kind of Kiss are you?
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angel
Angel Kiss: sweet and innocent


What Type of Kiss are You??
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Gosh you're damn good come here and give me a
kiss!!!


Are you a good kisser?
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oncheek
A peck on the cheek.


Which kiss are you?
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You're a romantic kisser. You like your kissing to
be intimate, sweet, and enjoyable. For you,
kissing is one of the best things you can do
with a person, and you love every second of it!


What kind of kisser are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
**oh yes, this is another dangerous effect of leaving me alone for too long...haha**

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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innocent kiss
innocent kiss - you're cute and sweet and like it
that way


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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(Sound Of Music) The Hills are alive... but not
only with the sound of music but also wit da
sound of all yo kidz! Man quit po'llutin this
earth wit cho crack babies!


Which Ghetto Fabulous Musical Are You?
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i love you more than anything and hope you love me
too!


how much joe loves you
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Yes, you are a monkey freak! You probably have
bananas hiding in your room under the bed.


How much do you love monkeys?
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suductive devil. You only go out with someone
because they are cute and you want to get in
their pants(and you usually succeed)


Whats your Love Capability *improved*
brought to you by Quizilla


You're "I Will Come to You" by Hanson.
For real.
When your love has no one to guide them, and no one
to walk beside them, you will go to them. When
the night is dark and stormy they won't have to
reach out for you, because you'll hear their
spirit calling. Deep.
Yes, I'm sure it was a clerical error. Go ahead
and take the quiz again; you know you want to.


@-->-- Which Sappy Love Song Are You? --<--@
brought to you by Quizilla

Your hopelessly romantic!


Do you want to be loved?
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Your song is One by Hooverphonic. When you fall in
love you really fall hard. Chances are that
when someone talks about feeling connected to
another person you know exactly what they're
talking about. Don't get too posessive with
your lovers or that unity you value so much
will be destroyed.


What Lesser Known Love Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your locker loves you and you love it!
Congradulations!


Does your locker love you?
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well, i tried to go to sleep, but it just wasn't workin for me. so, here i am...again.. except this time, i have my fuzzy blanket and lots of thoughts.
i hate being jealous. i'm only jealous of 2 people in this entire world, and it's driving me crazy right now. i hate to admit to this, but it's true. jealousy is so dumb and i try to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. ahh....how do some people get everything that they want????? well, i know that's not true because nobody can get EVERYTHING that they want, but it seems like they have everything i want...
oh well. i can't really do anything about it, so i'll just get over it. right here, right now.
****getting over it...****
.....................................
ok, i'm over it. i'm not jealous of anyone anymore. good. jealousy is negative energy that i don't want/need.
i feel better now. everyone should do that. just let everything go, because it doesn't help you in the long run, ya know? *happy sigh* :)
i love orange juice. i could drink it all day long and be happy. it's sooo good and good for you. of course, no pulp! well..maybe just a lil bit, but not massive amounts of it b/c that is just sick.
there was a coconut on my kitchen counter today...pretty random. i shook it up and you can hear the "milk" inside it. pretty ghetto. hehe.
my tongue has a mind of its own, right phil? lol.
ZANE! lol, lauren.
i see the moon and the moon sees me...
agh, i need some music right now...
yay, that's better. i'm listening to this song that came with my computer.. it's called "Goodtimes." i love it...it's so relaxing. wow, the people singing it are so cool. wow, i'm overwhelmed by coolness right now. hehe :)
i love my life. i really do. i'm so lucky. and i'm happy. i love the people around me and i wouldn't change them for anything in the world. even those things don't always turn out the way i want them to, it's ok because i'm learning to deal with them and move on or change it. i've learned that if you expect things to suck, they will. but if you make the most out of them, then you'll gain something from them and come out of it a better person. when it comes down to it, attitude really IS everything. so put a smile on your face! :) be happy with who you are and the gifts you've been given and the people that love you just the way you are~! :)
i love this song...it's called "looking back on today" by the ataris. it was holly and sig's song, but i love it anyway.

*30th of April
Seems like yesterday
Bought a house above the ocean
Where our kids could laugh and play

I called you from Paris
To tell you that I
Wrote our names on the observation deck
Of the Eiffel Tower

Remember those nights playing summer wind on the jukebox of the bar we used to go
We made out in the bathroom and you walked me to my house
I try to convince you not to go home

If only I had more time I'd take you where you wanted to go (where you want to go)
Italy isn’t the same without you here

If only I had one wish
I’d want a million trillion life times that I could spend with you
Falling in love with you again and again
Again

First of November 1998
I was thinking of what to say when I would call
Denise come over to my house cause you’re the one for me (your the one for me)
We’ll drink cheap wine and watch for shooting stars

Remember our first apartment
Our couch was never big enough for two
Still we’d fall asleep in each other’s arms and wake up on the floor
Now looking back it was made for me and you

If only I had more time I’d take you where you wanted to go (where you want to go)
Japan is really nice this time of year

If only I had one wish
I’d want a million trillion life times that I could spend with you
Fall in love with you again and again*

:)

well, that's all for now folks. hehe, this is what you get when you leave me home all night. :)
"i waannnnnt you to want me...i neeeeed you to need me...i'd love you to loveee me..." lol, that song is stuck in my head. i love it.
my nails are short-i've been stressed out.
oh mama.
but it's friday, so all is well.
actually, it's friday night and i'm sitting here like a loser.
lol, oh well.
i'll be a self-proclaimed loser! MOOhaha.
but sometimes it's good to be alone, ya know?
to just, think.
about everything.
and let my nails grow back. <~~ (does anyone get that? b/c it was very clever.)
:)
"it's gettin hot in here, so take off all your clothes"
"i am gettin so hot, i wanna take my clothes off!"
haha, too much fun after school today! lol
hehehe...sliding down the hallways w/ jane, good stuff. lol, my pants left a mark b/c they were corduroy! haha, it's the latest thing- pants scuffs instead of shoe scuffs on the floor~!
ok, i'm really tired now
but i don't wanna sleep
sleeping is no fun...not that i'm having much fun right now anyhow...ah well.
haha, oh this is lovely... mark says: i'm gonna spank it like there's no tomorrow
lol, what a crazy kid.
i love this shirt
it's so cool
and green
and striped
:)
*sigh*
why do i sigh? i sigh for a lot of reasons...
*sigh*....
hehe, phil and i are having *operation jelly*!
MOOhahaha! it's the GREATEST idea EVER~!
wow, wow, wow... it's gonna be awesome!
:)

Thursday, January 30, 2003

that's ghetto
today was a great day. not for any specific reason, it just was. :) i'm really happy right now. tomorrow is friday and i can already tell that it is going to be great!!! yay~!
eww...i had to go to the dentist today. i got my first cavity :( i was so sad.. ah well, it's too late now i guess. so yah, i got a filling today and my lip is still numb. it's the weirdest feeling!! (or lack thereof) hehe. ahhhh..crazy lip. wouldn't it be weird to kiss somebody when it feels like your lips aren't there?? hahaha...
i just took a shower. i used my sister's shampoo and now my hair is extra soft and it smells really good. might have to use it more often 0:) hehehe...
ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LIPS ARE ALIVE AGAIN! guess i'll never know what the ^above^ is like. awww... :( haha, jk.
whoa! this is so cool! my lil sister just made kool-aid and it's CLEAR! ahhh!! whoa mama! haha, it's amazing. *slurp slurp* isn't it fun to slurp? like, when you do it just to annoy people?? *sluuuuuurrrrrrrrrrp* haha. :) ahhhhhh....*choke* yikes. haha, oops.

Monday, January 27, 2003

i'm really pissed off right now.
not at anyone.
i'm pissed at myself.
i'm supposed to be doing this name thing for enr written and i've been sitting here for like 2 hours trying to do it.
i'm never satisfied with anything unless it's my best.
i know that should be good, but it drives me crazy.
insane, actually.
yoga was really good tonight. we did this partner thing and it's really cool. i want to master it. hehe, it feels really weird, yet amazing at the same time.
i'm still pissed off though.
why can't i just do the minimum and be happy with it?
argh.
i love roses.
aren't they perfect?
i don't think that they smell that great though.. i mean, lots of flowers smell better than roses. maybe it's just me.
gr...what can i say about my name?
i think it fits me pretty well.
not too flashy, not too common...
kinda like me.
i love all of my nicknames.
hehe :)
i'm getting really stressed out. this semester is gonna be tough. a lot of work. i don't like doing lots of work...but i do it anyway. aiy.
i guess i should stop complaining now. it doesn't help.
wish me luck on this name thing! i need some inspiration- and quick!


hehe, welp, lauren and i actually did it! we had the 24-hour movie marathon! yay for us! lol, i can't believe we actually did it- i thought it was tooo insane to really pull off, but we did! wow, i was up for about 35 hours total...ahhh! oh MAMA! hehe, and i'm still not totally dead..that'll prolly happen tomorrow at school.. hehe. ah well. here's the official list of movies we watched...
1. american psycho (insane movie, i hate the main guy. he makes me sick. didn't really have a point... i can't believe they made a sequel.)
2. nightmare before christmas (i was sooo scared of this movie when i was lil! ahh...it freaked me out! but we watched it anyway, at least it doesn't scare me anymore!)
3. bridget jones' diary (aww...the ending is so sweet, we were gonna cry! aww...i want that! haha, and her bunny outfit! haha)
4. almost famous (i liked it.. that guy is so cool. hehe, welp, lauren and i actually did it! we had the 24-hour movie marathon! yay for us! lol, i can't believe we actually did it- i thought it was tooo insane to really pull off, but we did! wow, i was up for about 35 hours total...ahhh! oh MAMA! hehe, and i'm still not totally dead..that'll prolly happen tomorrow at school.. hehe. ah well. here's the official list of movies we watched...
1. american psycho (insane movie, i hate the main guy. he makes me sick. didn't really have a point... i can't believe they made a sequel.)
2. nightmare before christmas (i was sooo scared of this movie when i was lil! ahh...it freaked me out! but we watched it anyway, at least it doesn't scare me anymore!)
3. bridget jones' diary (aww...the ending is so sweet, we were gonna cry! aww...i want that! haha, and her bunny outfit! haha)
4. almost famous (i liked it.. that guy is so cool. i need to live on a bus with people i love for a while-haha, not an orgy bus though! lol)
5. girl, interrupted (interesting movie.. i was really tired during it though.. i'm glad i'm not really that insane... i liked this one part where they say that the people in that place were just overboard on one thing... i forget how it was said exactly, but it's true... hmm..)
6. clockwork orange (wow, i was so confused. anyone care to explain this movie to me? lauren and i kinda gave up on it b/c it was 4 in the morning, and it wasn't helping our insanity levels.)
7. beauty and the beast (hehe, can't have a movie marathon without beauty and the beast! aww.. so cute. i love this movie. i always wanted to be belle so i'd walk around with my nose stuck in a book. hehe.)
8. monsters, inc. (cute, my little cousin looks exactly like the lil girl named boo. hehe)
9. romeo and juliet w/ LDC (aww..so sad..there are so many what-if's in this movie...they would have been so happy together...)
10. high school high (wow, the most ghetto movie ever! haha, it was funny though.)
11. the matrix (it was my first time seeing it, but no one really watched it so i need to see it again)
12. lord of the rings (great movie, *ooo la la* legolus! hehe)
13. wayne's world (lol, i want to BE wayne! haha, jk. crazy movie, good finale.
lol, good times, good times.

Friday, January 24, 2003

IT'S TIME FOR THE 24-HOUR MUNICIPAL MOVIE MARATHON MADNESS!!!
MOOHAHAHAHAHA!
it's about 7 PM right now and lauren and i have been getting ready for this since 5:30! We went to video villa and rented ELEVEN movies!! haha! it was sooo ghetto! i mean, who rents eleven movies at one time?! haha, WE do! so we took them back to her house and we decided we needed some food! at eagle we got....
*curious george fruit snacks
*blue's clues macaroni and cheese
*spongebob macaroni and cheese
*lucky charms
*oranges
*baby carrots
*vanilla coke
yeee~HAW! Well, Pay It Forward is premiering at 7:30, we'll be back after that with more updates from the 24-HOUR MUNCIPAL MOVIE MARATHON MADNESS~! :)

Thursday, January 23, 2003

OK so i ripped this off someone else's blog.. hey girl thanks!!! but for real.. BREATHE LIKE THERE IS NO FUCKING TOMORROW!

oh the insanity of it all.



just.. just.. gota love it. life is just this one big hell that you gota embrace. and maybe even enjoy, learn to live with, appreciate. to all of those brave young souls out there battling it out, trudging through this mess called life, may amitaba bless you all. for our time here on earth is fleeting, each breath exhaled one less breath we take before our passage into the next world. love, bless, cherish everything and everyone around us for we couldn't, wouldn't be who, what, where we are without them, without each other. life is like one big dream and it is only when we are about to awaken that we realize just how comforting, how beautiful and bittersweet, how brief the dream we dreamt and though we may resist, deny, fight the inevitable awakening, hah we will eventually come to terms, accept, maybe even embrace, this cycle of life and death.




so just breathe.. and smile. LAUGH, dammit! life is much too short to get hung up over the little qualms in life.


BREATHE LIKE THERE IS NO FUCKING TOMORROW.
guess what? i need some music. somebody burn a cd for meeeeeeeee......! i'm going crazy. and don't ask me what songs i want on it b/c that's no fun. i need to figure out how to burn cd's. my computer is so sloooooow though. ahh..
lauren and i are having a 24-hour movie marathon tomorrow! MOOhaha! this is gonna get prettttty crazy! hehe. wow, i'm gonna stay up. even if it kills me. well, it won't killlll me... it'll be a challenge! hmm..let's see..we're gonna need some umop and caffeine mints and mountain dew and chocolate... :) oooooooooh yah! that's what i'm talkin about. lol, i'll let y'all know how it goes. oh yah, and if you know of any AMAZING movies, lemme know!! ya know what's weird? i can't drink pop anymore. i really CAN'T.. it's so...bubbly and gross. lol. orange juice (no pulp) is what it's allllll about! hehe!
haha, chocolate pudding. one time...at lunch.... haha, crazy freshman. we accidently stole and ate his pudding. 0: ) it was really funny but i felt really bad b/c we didn't know it was his.... haha, jakub's friends are so insano. yeeeeeee~HAW. i think that everyone should yeeeeee~HAW at least once every day. it's soo... cowboy-ish!
i can't blow bubbles w/ bubble gum. :( isn't that sad? lol, people try and show me, they say, "like...this!" and then they do it and i'm like, "uh...yeah.... still can't do it." i need to practice. hang on, i'm gonna go get some gum! hehehe.
lol, ok. i have gum now. *chew chew* don't you put it on the tip of your tongue first? let's see.. haha, this is so dirty. "leave space at the top!" (if you have no idea what i'm talking about, be glad. don't ask.) hmm... this is harder than it looks... grrr... hehe. i'll keep trying, but spare you the details. if anyone can teach me, i'll give you a nickel. yah, that's right- a nickel. *i got a quarta, i got a quarta, i got a quarta, hey hey hey hey!*
you can make up lots of songs the tune of "i got a quarta!" c'est tres super! haha, french. je veux des pantalons de jean-pierre maintennant! (off!) haha...WTMF.
i can't make myself burp either. hm....no fun. why am i saying this? did you really want to know? i think you did. i was talking to this chris guy today, funny kid. we've decided that if you could burn (as in fire, what a pyro) online quizzes, the world would be a perfect place. haha. once again, i've had WTMF.
oh, by the way... WTMF = way too much fun. duh.
this gum is gross. it should rot. wouldn't crunchy gum be gross? ew.. crunchalicious.
i went to the dentist today. yeeeee~HAW. lol, i wrote a poem about teeth. *say cheese!*
you know what? chicken butt. that's sick, a chicken's ass. "keep your panties on!" NEVER EVER say panties! ewww...haha, it's just wrong. panties panties pannnnnties! ahhhhhh....too much.
twitching is so funny. black socks. santa??? laptops in a study hall. painting paintbrushes. prepare to go back in time to my elementary school days in art class.... get ready..
**************************twilight zone song playing****************************
ok, you made it.
well, in art class, we did some painting thing and at the end of class you had to wash out your paintbrushes in this nasty old sink in the back of the room. the highlight of that class was painting the sink as you were rinsing out the brushes and making lots of different colors. hehe.
thennnn......it was one of the last days of school and so it was really hot outside. we were doing so ink stamping project and my stupid teacher had all the windows shut. it smelled realllly strong in there. we were standing around this table watching my teacher show us how to do it, when all of a sudden, i fainted! and i fainted ON my teacher! lol! ahhhh! it was scary..i just remember closing my eyes and seeing black. and then when i finally woke up i was on the ground and everyone was gathered around me and he was like rubbing my head! haha, i freaked out b/c i didn't know what had happened! so, i was ok in the end but erica, who went to go get the nurse, thought that i had died! awww.. she said she flipped out on her way to the nurse! aww.. luckily, i didn't die and as the nurse joked, "man susan, you really FELL for mr. brittain, didn't you??!" hah. hah. hehe. :)
yay! finals are over! i can finally relax~! :) smile everyone! be HAPPY! and bio wasn't that hard, i definitely didn't fail it! yay yay yay yay yay~! hehe, ok. i'm done now. i'm just glad that they're OVER!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

hm.... so what has been on my mind lately? i don't know.. mostly just finals and trying to put off studying for them. how borrrrrrrrrinnnnnnnnnnnng. i'm really tired, but not.



Which movie heroine are you?


Tuesday, January 21, 2003

oh man, i'm like freaking out. but not. about finals.
it's weird...b/c i don't need to freak out...
let's see... (if you don't like listening to my school rants, i'd skip this part...) :-P
FINALS SCHEDULE POUR MOI
3- Health... done, i got a A.
4- Lunch...done
why am i hearing frog noises???!
ok, anyways...
TOMORROW:
6- French- should be easy, prolly only need to get a D..haha, maybe an F
1- Orchestra- we're doing a small group thing, it should be pretty good, i've practiced a lot
7- Speech- only need a 67 to keep an A... dave says it's really easy too
THURSDAY:
5- Driver's Ed (study hall) might skip it..
2- Math... easy
8- Enriched Bio...grr..what a beast, i can't get an A, but that's ok cuz a B still counts as an A on your GPA... and i only need a 63 to keep my B...should i study? i dunno...
and yah...that's all. so why am i freaking out?? ahhhh...it's feels weird to not have to study...i kind of like it~! :) lol. what a crazy kid.
enough about stupid finals. they should rot. don't you think so? yes, i do think so.
my hands are freezing. whoa..speaking of cold hands, there's this one guy in my driver's ed class and he's like, "feel my hands" and they were literally freezing!!! it was scary~! yikes... hehe, mine aren't thaaaat bad right now. ahh.. so much insane-ness going on this week. i can hardly wait till 1:16 on thursday when all of this nonsense is OVER~!!! oh well. it's not over yet. gotta deal with it now i guess.
i still can't relax...grr...
haha, i'm so done. enough of this. later folks.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

oh man..i have so many random thoughts going through my head all at once. so many... aiy..
i was looking for the lyrics to some song...now i forget what it was...but anyways, i found this band called And Also The Trees and they have an album called, "Farewell To The Shade." do they sound cool or what??? lol, i've never heard their music, but they're already amazing. i know nothing else about them expcept that..but still. hehe.
i've been trying to get my life back in order this weekend. it has gotten pretty messed up. i have a certain order of things. it's very unique and makes no sense to everybody else, but it's just the way i am. you can tell how stressed out i am by looking at my nails. if they're kinda long, painted and chipped slightly, then everything is good. i hate having perfect nails, and i always mess them up, so i've given up on that. but..if they're torn and short and dirty and uneven..then things are not good. i think it's because when i'm not totally stressed out i have time to keep my nails looking decent, but when i start going crazy, so do they. i love hands. i'm obsessed. hehe. lauren can have her foot fetish and i can have my hand fetish. well...it's not really a fetish.. it's just that you can tell a lot about a person by their hands. it's hand psychology. hehe. also, my room is another thing. i recently got 5 big bags of clothes from my friend mandy who's in college and so i've had all those floating around my room for the past week. when i'm stressed out, clothes and papers are everywhere and i never put anything back where it belongs. those 5 new bags didn't help. aiy... but today, i put them all away, sorted them, and made some bags for goodwill. phew, it feels good to see the floor again. hehe. 0:-)
i even studied today. i studied 2 hours for french and my dad helped me. isn't that cute?? like, how many dads would do that? he doesn't know any french so it was funny to hear him try and pronounce everything. actually, i think it helped me that he didn't really know what he was saying b/c then i could figure it out by myself. so yah, i'm done studying for french. it's pretty easy anyway. *ooo la la*
I WANNA GO ICE SKATING!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh!! i have to go! and soon! it just isn't winter without ice skating! maybe i'll go next friday! who wants to come?? lemme know, it'll be amazing. and we have to go at night too, it's so much cooler that way. ooh! i know! we can ice skate AND look at the stars AND blow bubbles at the same time!! hehe, i'm excited~! :)
i'm thinking about rearranging my room. again. i need to divide it into different sections. let's see... i need a sleeping part, a clothes part, a reading part, a music part (stereo/cds, viola, guitar), a yoga part/relaxing, and a homework part (which is usually my bed but i should prolly start using my desk.) hmm... i'll have to work on that. it can be my new project. i also want different lighting in my room too... ooooh! i stole this painting of roses from the living room and put it in my room~! hehe, it looks soo cool! i wonder when my mom will notice.. lol. she'll prolly let me keep it, but i just wanna see her face when she sees that it's gone. i took the yucca tree upstairs once..THAT was pretty funny! hehe~! :) oh man, there katie goes again. she got the lead in the musical "guys and dolls" and she's been singing nonstop for like the past 2 weeks! she's getting really good though so i shouldn't complain. "ask me how do i feel? ask me now that we're cozy and clinging...well, sir all i can say is if i were a bell, i'd be rinnnnnnging! from the moment we kissed tonight, that's just the way i've got to behave... boy if i were a lamp, i'd light and if i were a banner i'd wave! ask me how do i feel, lil me w/ my quiet upbringing, well sir, all i can is if i were a gate i'd be swinging...!"
lol, crazy stuff, but it's cute. :)
hehe, karen is so funny...
HINCherryFantasy [8:45 PM]: LISTEN HERE YOUNG MAN, NOW AI'M WORTH A WHOLE BAG OF NOODLES AND YOU CAN THROW IN THE CHOPSTICKS TOO, BUT NO CHINESE MAN IS GONNA NOODLE THIS AND NOODLE THAT AND NOODLE HIS WAY OUTTA HERE~!!
lol, too much fun.
i think i need a quote to end this blog entry. hmm...

"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
-Henry Van Dyke

"Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks."
-Laura Swenson

Saturday, January 18, 2003

i'm in a strange mood.
why am i doing this?
why do i try?
how can people just accept things as they are and not want something more?
i just don't understand.
it's kind of like this song by phil collins...

"She calls out to the man on the street;
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?";

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's just another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
'Cause she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice..."

Friday, January 17, 2003

wow. tonight was pretty crazy. haha, lauren and i are soooo bad. 0:-) hehehe... risque books at barnes & noble... good times. and you crazy guys reading cosmogirl and trying to hide it! hahaha, nice job. lol, it was so bad, but we all liked it. and what's with guys' obsession with boobs all about? anyone care to explain that to me? IM at SuZq4ever3 if you want. i just don't get it. like, they're nice and all...but what's with that? i don't understand. and why do they like boobs like pamela anderson's? they're so fake that it's sick! but enough about boobs. haha. i'm so done. moving on..
it's friday!!! didn't feel like it though... i'm really glad this week is OVER!! ah... so much. my "chicken pox" won't wash off... my skin absorbs ink realllly well. oh well, guess i'll be stuck w/ them for a while.
i love cool away messages. that "i am away from my computer right now" one sucks like mo. (like a fro)
i love the space heater in the basement. it rocks my world.
i love the starry winter sky. i could watch it all night.
i love being risque. it's so funny.
i love writing notes to people. i have a big drawer full of old notes i've gotten. it rocks.
i love dictionaries. so much knowledge in them.
i love curly hair. i want it. (marc's knocks lauren's socks off! haha)
i love crazy french movies. they're so random.
i love henry p. baloney. he's my hero.
i love the feeling of ice cold water going through you.
i love leaning back in chairs. even though i'm "going to fall."
i love getting away with not doing what you're supposed to do.
i love back massages. mmm..
i love bright pink, metal lunch boxes.
i love black nail polish. on one finger, of course.
i love the sunset. i want to vanish inside of it.
i love sappy love songs. i wish someone would sing one to me.
i love when you're flying in an airplane at night and you can all the lights of the city and it seems almost magical.
and finally, i love you. thank you for being exactly who you are and i hope you never compromise yourself for anyone else.
today was a bad day, but yet...it's still good. i'm in such a good mood right now. :) hehe. TECHNO music and shakira is so great... hahaha. makes me laugh. but ok, here's the really bad news... i got a D- on my bio test....NOT good... not good at all... grr... i'm so mad at myself. >:( man.... i still have a B overall...and it's enriched so it still counts as an A... but..i'm very upset. a D is really bad.. i'm gonna go talk to mr ley tuesday morning.. maybe he'll let me retake it. i sure hope so. ah well. grades aren't everything. it's just..bio really pisses me off. and i think i'm sick. i had pseudo-mono in 8th grade and it makes you really tired... it's not real mono, but you have the same symptoms. i got it from being so stressed out and overworked... i bet i have it again.. aiy... it's not fun. at all. i keep thinking that there's gonna be a nice, long break after we take finals. but there's not. i don't think i can do this all over again for another semester...oh MAMA... i'm also extremely unmotivated. i seriously don't care any more. like, i don't care right now... but i know i'll prolly will later.
enough about that. hehe, i have one nail painted black. it looks pretty funny against my skin. very symbolic... how is it symbolic you ask? i can't really explain it.. it just is.
i have really amazing friends. they're truly the essence of cool. and what's even better is that they are all unique in their own ways. i learn so much about life from them every day without them even realizing it. they're all complete individuals and i love it. we're all so different, but yet it works. life is so much better when you talk to everyone, regardless of what other people think. i've realized that i can learn from every person and that they have something to offer. if you only stick with one lil group, sure it's alright, but you miss out on SO MUCH!! besides, shallow people suck. people that say, "why were you talking to HIM??! ew...!" that's so lame. why shouldn't i? those people don't know what they're missing. it gives you a much better perspective about life because we all view things differently, but still the same. so talk to someone new when we go back to school. ask how their day was and tell them about yours. it sounds dumb, but you'll see...
hehe, i was babysitting my lil neighbor earlier today and she's so cute. her name is McKaeleigh and she's 4. hehe, we were coloring and she gave me "chicken pox" with a red marker. haha, so funny. i pretended that they really itched! hehe. so we were drawing and i'm like "i'm gonna draw a heart." and she says, "me too." and then i say, "i'm gonna draw a flower." and she says, "can i please have that marker? i wanna make a flower too." it was so cute. monkey see, monkey do. she let me have the pictures she drew and i'm gonna put it in my locker. hehe. good times. then we played in her lil toy kitchen. she made a salad that had lettuce, a tomato, cucumbers, french fries, ketchup, 2 chicken legs, and a cookie in it. lol, crazy kid. it was "delicious." :) hehe. then we ran around her house for like 10 minutes and rolled on the ground. i wish i could make her see how lucky she is to be so young and careless, but i can't. so i'll just go along and let her have more fun. i let her have a cookie.. that's another thing. lil kids are so manipulative, but it's cute. they're allowed to get away with it sometimes. :)
well, not sure what i'm gonna do tonight. i think i'm gonna make a movie w/ lauren, gary, and my brian tonight. fun stuff. and no, mark.. not THAT kind of movie! :-P hehe...it's going to be soooo great! wow...i'm excited. alex was saying that he was thinking of starting a film making club at school, and i was like, "go for it!" wouldn't that be cool? i think so. random movies are the greatest. speaking of alex...we totally had a party in french class today! we all thought she was joking b/c we never do ANYTHING fun in that class. i was just waiting for her to whip out a test..! but it didn't happen and we watched lil red riding hood in french. geez, it was so violent! the wolf actually ate the gramma and then they cut him open to get her out! ewwie! haha...crazy frenchness.
:) :) :) SuZ :) :) :)

Thursday, January 16, 2003

ah...i feel so alone right now. gary, you're the greatest. :) thanks.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

i love quotes. a lot. i think i need to add some good ones....
"I hold it true,what'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Nobody ever died of laughter."
-Max Beerbohm

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
-Allan K. Chalmers

"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy."
-Cynthia Nelms

"Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven."
-Yiddish Proverb

"Music is well said to be the speech of angels."
-Thomas Carlyle

"Nunc scio quit sit amor."
Lat., "Now I know what love is."
-Virgil

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
-Judy Garland

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
-Albert Einstein

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."
-Anatole France

"A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it."
-Anon.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."
-Lao-Tzu

Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me, without inhibitions
For a love so free....
....Will never fly away..

׺×I dOn'T kNoW wHaT hUrTs MoRe..Me WaLkInG aWaY oR yOu NoT rUnNiNg AfTeR mE׺×

(¨`·.·´¨)* A gUrL iZ MuCh MoRe
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)*ThAn ShE SeEmS
`·.¸.·´*NoT A ToY By AnYMeAnS
(¨`·.·´¨) *UnDeRNeAtH Da MaKeUp n HaiR
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)* tHeRe Is A sIgN sAyiNg
`·.¸.·´* HaNdle WiTh CaRe

~Some people talk and talk and never say a thing, some people look at you and birds begin to sing, some people laugh and laugh and yet you want to cry, some people touch your hand and you can touch the sky~

"Love is like a star, you know reaching for it is impossible,
but you keep reaching,
hoping that one day the star might fall… for you "

~Cute is when a person's personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, everytime you see them you just want to run up and hug them~

"The meaning of life is finding your gift; the purpose of life is giving it away."
-Joy J.Golliver



let's talk about people today. people are strange. everybody is the same. we really are. maybe everybody likes blogs so much because if people really write their true feelings in them, then you are able to relate to them. think about that for a second... isn't it true? i sure think that it is. i mean, we were all born, we were all kids, we were all teenagers, we all become adults, we all get old, and finally, we all die. it's this crazy, never-ending cycle. i think that we also have basically the same ideals.. like, most people want to be happy, they want to have friends, they want acceptance. the other day, i made a list of 40 things that my perfect guy would be or do. then i reread it. ripped it up. and threw it in the recycling (not garbarge! :-P) it was a very symbolic thing, b/c i realize that there are no perfect guys out there, except for the one that every girl keeps up her nose until she finally sneezes him out... but that's other story. lunch, don't ask. hehe. why are so many people IM'ing me? geez, my away message is on. hmm...anyways.. so yes. i threw it out. but i don't know... what is love anyway? how do you know that you've found the perfect person for you? do you really marry your soulmate or do you end up marrying some guy that you can just put up with? i really hope that it's the former. lauren and i joined the literary magazine today. i'm excited about that. i love editing. it'll be really cool i think. plus, we get to read all of the submissions. : ) funston! so y'all better submit something! write a poem or something! ah, poetry... poetry is so amazing. the art of words. it's really deep, and you can tell a lot about a person by the type of poetry that they write. very interesting stuff... ew, STD's are gross. we saw pictures of them in health today. ewwie.. we'll see more tomorrow. yee~HAW. ha. ha. oh yah!!!! GUESS WHAT??! hehe, i passed my driver's test today! :-D yay me! i started getting really nervous like 5 minutes before i took it though.. ahh.. hehe, but it was all good and i'm happy! :) WTMF. well, it's a wednesday. pretty good day as far as wednesdays go. "it was a pretty good day..... i'm lookin forward to tomorrow....i had a pretty good day... yea.. yea.." hehe. later days.
(this is from yesterday) well, this is boring. enough about me. let's talk about you. oh wait.. let's not. ok, back to me... haha. i'm so done. i'm in the weirdest mood ever. i'm not happy, i'm not mad, i'm not upset, i'm not hyper, i'm not mellow, i'm not sad, i'm not excited... i'm just kind of sarcastic and wistful and goofy at the same time. is that possible? well, i guess it is seeing as that's how i feel right now. my hands are freezing. grr.. somebody get me some freakin gloves! hehe, oops, juuuust kidding. who wants to buy girl scout cookies from my lil sisters??? i think YOU do. :) hehe. crazy kids.

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

hehe. well, today was a pretty good day. not exceptionally good, not exceptionally bad. i was pretty busy though. let's start at the beginning, shall we? ok. (haha, don't ya just love how i talk to myself? i do. :-P hehe) so yes. i woke up at like 5:45 yesterday morning so i set my alarm clock. now usually, my mom calls me until i wake up. "santa" got me an alarm clock for christmas though, i took that as a hint. hehe. 0:) so yah. i forgot to turn it off so i woke up then this morning. it was kinda nice knowing i could go back to sleep.

Monday, January 13, 2003

ah yes. another day has come and gone. today is monday. tgio. (thank god it's over.) yah...ben and i broke up last night... it wasn't that bad b/c i saw it coming a long time ago. i guess i was just in denial about it or something.. today was kinda weird b/c he wasn't there to walk with me and stuff..but it's not like i really ever got to see him anyway... we had a lot of good times together- especially last summer... downer's grove, going to prairie almost every night, six flags, the last fling, david's sex basement, lauren's house, my house, calling him at 1 in the morning, hearing the phone ring and my mom yelling upstairs to me that it was ben (again, hehe), just random things. good times... 7 months is a long time. i think that it really was time that we broke up.. i have all of these "crazy" ideals and goals and i think i need to accomplish them by myself. i don't know if i really want another boyfriend for awhile.. psh, what are guys good for anyway? (haha, a lil feminism kicking in.) in bio today, mr. ley said that women are biologically superior to men. haha, losers. ehh...but you still gotta love 'em. right? right. ahh...guess what song is stuck in my head? that old song it goes, "WAR. what is it good for? absolutely nothing." lol, oh MAMA. speaking of songs, last night when i went to bed i had to take the jewel cd out of my stereo b/c i was gonna use it for my persuasive speech. then i was just thinking about how weird it would be if "pretty girl" was playing...so i turned on the radio and guess what? it sure was playing. lauren's absolutely right. everything IS interconnected. sometimes it's so connected that it's scary.
i went to yoga tonight. yoga is realllly cool. i love it. i guess that if you went into it with a bad attitude, like "this is dumb" then it would be dumb. but if you really try to concentrate and do it right then it really helps you to relax. everytime that i leave there, i'm always kind of zoned out. like, i have alll this energy and i could run and run and run...but, i don't want to. it's a cool feeling. lol haha lauren, we're so bad.
*reminder to myself*
who i am
what i was
what i have done
what has been done to me
has led me to this very sacred moment in time
ahh... i was just watching the video of the speech i gave today. it was a persuasive speech about how everyone has their own individual talents and gifts and that they should use them to help change the world. it was pretty good i think.. i hope i got my message across to them b/c it is something that i feel very passionately about! hehe. "the time has come when speaking is not enough, applauding is not enough. we have to act." ~Jacques Cousteau.
~Let us stand with jacques cousteau and commit ourselves to action, every if it is done one person and one decision at a time.~

Friday, January 10, 2003

as lauren said, "it was the most horrible yet strange day." that is very true. i'm having lots of issues right now - with myself and other people too. i'm stuck in the middle and i don't know which way to go. i'm going to implode. slowly, yet surely. i went to gary's house tonight with lauren. they played ddr a lot, and i seriously think that somebody drugged me at lunch. it was really scary... i couldn't see straight, i had a fever, i was shaking a lil, and i had a really slow reaction time. i'm ok now, i think. i just have a lot of thinking to do. by the way, gary rocks at ddr! he really got better! i was supposed to do something with ben tonight..but i guess not. he said he wasn't doing anything, and then he went out with some asians. aiy... i don't know. am i too selfish? no...i think i'm too nice. like, overly nice. so-nice-that-i'm-killing-myself-slowing nice. i NEVER put myself first, in anything. i always think about what would make other people happy before i think about myself. i guess that that is ok, but it is only to an extent. i can't take it anymore. i must being missing a "mean" gene. maybe mr. ley would know... heh, heh. my nails are pink today, just in case anyone wanted to know, which i'm sure you didn't, but too bad. now you know. i need to decide.. argh. i wish i could confront people. but no... i can't. i'm a much better listener than talker. i don't like to talk about myself that much. i'd rather hear what other people have to say. what is wrong with me? i don't know... i can't do this anymore. this whole blog is so random, just like my head. it probably makes no sense whatsoever, but i don't care. i don't care anymore. when you're depressed, nothing makes sense anyway so why should this?

Sunday, January 05, 2003

for those you who know me really well, you know that i am infamous for writing lists.
"something's wrong?? - Make a list!"
And it works too. try it. really. doesn't have to make sense, or it could make sense. you pick. it's YOUR list not mine. I need to sort things out in my head, so i'm gonna make a list. here it goes...
*MY LIST*
school
speeches
ben
kindness
stress
finals
geese
christmas trees
the garbarge man
crying
hope
being alone
cd's
old emails that you save
how things change
tea cups
my gramma
swearing
teddy bears
fuzzy blankets/pillows
trips on the train
downer's grove
train tickets that are heat sensitive
music
yoga
pajama pants
socks
feet
lauren's foot fetish (ew... haha)
the couch
david's sex basement
summer
running through sprinklers
math is so easy
hmm...i need to study for finals..
i'm so lazy
i'm screwed about waking up tomorrow morning
actually, i'm screwed w/ a lot of things...
sunsets
clouds
climbing trees
apples
nicholas
being young
blowing bubbles
new year's eve
movies
aiy... okiE, i'm tired now... but this could go on forever..hehe
GOODNIGHT~! ah....last night of break...


late night was really weird. i tried to fall asleep before midnight but it just didn't work. i got offline around 11:15 after talking to elise (this random girl) about life and guys and stuff... so i was going upstairs to bed and all the lights were off, except my mom had forgotten to blow out the candle that's on the coffee table. it was really pretty... it just flickered there.. solemnly...i sat on the couch and watched it for awhile.. it seemed very content. then i started looking out the window.. i was fairly light outside- the sky had a pink tint because it had been snowing early. everything was so peaceful... i've decided that houses are very strange. every one of them is it's own little world. completely sheltered from everything around it... then i started watching the candle again... i didn't really want to blow it out, it was symbolic. i thought about lots of things while watching that candle... i eventually got too tired to just look at it so i went up to bed. i still couldn't sleep, so i started writing. writing about everything. it was good. helped me to sort things out a lil bit.. but not completely. i still have lots of thinking to do. back to school tomorrow. yee~HAW. urgh. then i'll really not have any time to think. but i'm starting yoga tomorrow, maybe that will help. i hope it does. *sigh* i need some happiness right about now.

Saturday, January 04, 2003

so this is it. the last saturday of break. :( *sniffle sniffle* and i'm stuck here at home trying to write one of my speeches. i am the worst procrastinator in the world. no joke. i really am. but the thing is, i always get away with it. maybe i work the best under lots of pressure?? that might be it.. my speech is about how all of us can and should change the world. here's something to think about...
We have been endowed with gifts that we often fail to realize or to use.
We have the gift of thought and reflection, allowing us to grapple with the world’s problems and to find creative solutions.
We have the gift of memory, making it possible for us to learn from our mistakes and those of others.
We have the gift of voice and language, enabling us to communicate and to make our voices heard.
We have the gift of conscience, enabling us to determine for ourselves right from wrong.
We have the gift of creativity, allowing us to add to the world’s already enormous store of beauty through arts and literature, philosophies and religions, sciences and engineering, and day-to-day problem solving.
We have the gift of empathy, allowing us to understand another’s hurt and sorrow and to reach out with compassion and love.
We have the gift of mobility, making it possible for us to go where we are needed.
We have the gift to make and use tools, enabling us to extend our powers dramatically.
We have the gift of love, making it possible to share closely with others the incredible gift of life in all its richness and beauty as well as in its sorrow and suffering.

We all have these gifts. Now let's use them wisely. “The time has come when speaking is not enough, applauding is not enough. We have to act.” ~Jacques Cousteau

Friday, January 03, 2003

ok guys, here goes nothing! hehe, i'm excited about this blog thing! :) i hope i actually keep this up to date..i'm so bad - i start a journal, do it for about 2 weeks, and then i get too busy for it. oh MAMA! but this will be different, right? right! wow, today was a pretty crazy day. i stayed up reallllly late last night and i got up at 9 this morning which is wayyyyy too early for me! c'mon now, it's winter break!! so, i got up that early b/c we all had to clean the house (yee~HAW) b/c my cousins were gonna come over. oh man...insane stuff. i was really mad last night b/c i was going to have lauren and ben come over and we were gonna make some random movie, but then i remembered that my cousins were coming...aiy. oh well, i got over it. my lil cousins are sooooo cute! especially emily- she's 3. aww....hehe. i hope i was that cute when i was little. :) so yah, that was fun. i had to make all of them lunch though :/ oh man, i'm a really picky eater, but i've got nothing on my cousin nicholas. we had apples and he's like, "i don't like yellow ones or green ones. i only like red ones." lol, what a crazy kid..i mean, is there really that much of a difference?! hehe... too much fun. oooh, and then one of my other aunts called while they were still at my house and then SHE came over... aiy yi yi... lol, well enough about that!

after that lauren came over and we were gonna make a random movie, but we didn't. we'll do that some other time w/ more people. she curled my hair and had WAY too much fun w/ it. lol, it was totally a flashback to 7th grade. we were listening to the cd that her mom had burned for everyone at lauren's bday party in 7th grade. it had this song by together, "dancing queen," "can i get your number baby?" and other ones like that! it was sooo funny. hehe, crazy kids.. then my mom ordered pizza and she calls us downstairs. she's like, (the pizza guy) "he's a nice boy!" haha, so she made lauren and me go to pick it up. they messed up our order so we were like sitting there for 15 minutes and we noticed how everything was doubled. "pizza pizza!" "happy happy!" ahhhh...that was SO funny b/c earlier we realized that we say everything twice. "good job, good job." "nice, nice." "no mas, no mas." hehee..........wow. crazy day. so thennnnnnn after we got sick from eating all the cheese bread (who needs the pizza!?) we went to allan's house for his party. what a funny kid, he asked his magic 8 ball to see if i should go. haha. it said i could. :) it's a good thing b/c i hadn't been out of my house for 3 days straight. i was seriously going INSANE! ahhh... but now i'm better. i think... hehe. so yes, allan's party was fun. but i'm really tired. it's been a crazy day, and i think i need to stop this now. cya'll later
*ZZZzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZzZzZzZzzzzZzZzZzZzzzzZzZ*

Thursday, January 02, 2003

wow...someday we'll know, why samson loved delilah...someday we'll know..
why the sky is blue...